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Today's jokes [7.7.18]

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A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: "Da-ad..." 
"What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a 
drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank 
you!!"
Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..." "WHAT??!!" "When you come in to 
spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?" 


1. 




An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist 
attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide:
"How large is the population here?"
"Around 1.5 billion" -- the guide answers
American, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here?"


2. 




Q: Daddy, daddy, what's a pervert?
A: Shut up, son, and keep sucking!


3. 




Q: What can you assume when you find a lawyer buried up to his neck in cement
A: Someone ran out of cement.


4. 




A hill country husband died and left everything to his wife.
He put a provision in his will though that she couldn't touch
any of it until she turned 14.

5. 



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