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Today's jokes [7.6.18]

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Why is it estimated that only 99 percent of all people masterbate?

The other 1% were either taking the poll or answering the door!

1. 




What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?

The older they get the easier they are to pick up. 

2. 




A game

check this out! It only takes about 30 seconds. Don't cheat!

Think of a letter between A and W. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.








Keep going!










Think of an animal that begins with that letter. Repeat it out loud as you
scroll down.










Think of a man's name that begins with the last letter in that animal.
Say it out loud as you scroll down.










Now count out the letters in that name on the fingers of the hand you are
not using to scroll down.










Take the last finger you counted with, shove it up your ass, and get back
to work, you stupid game playing bastard!

Sent by Zena

3. 




An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down 
below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the 
mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the 
mouse says: "Tail gunner to pilot...Tail gunner to pilot.."
The eagle says "what do you want?"
The mouse asks how high up they are.
The eagle thinks for a moment and then says "ohh about 5,000 ft."
The mouse then replies "You wouldn't be shittin me now would ya??"

4. 




How do you clean a condom?

Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it!


5. 



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