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Today's jokes [6.4.18]

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Cop coming upon a young couple making out....
Cop: What the hell are you two doing?
Boy: See honey, I told ya cops were stupid.

1. 




With a puzzled look on his face an Indian boy asked,
"Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?" 
She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm." 
Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?" 
She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when
we made her." 
"And why is my other sister called Moonchild?" 
"We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived.",
She explained. The Mother Indian paused for a moment then
asked her son, "Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?" 

2. 




One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a 
picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one 
raises his/her hand. The teacher says "See it's long neck? What 
animal has a long neck?"

Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. "Very good 
Sally," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. 
None of the students holds up his/her hands. "See the stripes on 
this animal? What animal has stripes?" Billy holds up his hand and 
says it is a zebra. "Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next 
she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized 
the animal.

"See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"

Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint, it's 
something your mother calls your father."

Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a horny bastard."

3. 




What has two grey legs and two brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.

What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
Lots of room!


4. 




While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his 
hand caught in a gate while working his cattle)a doctor and the old man 
were discussing Bush's health care reform ideas. The old man said "Well, 
ya know, old Bush is a post turtle".

So, not knowing what he meant the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" 
was. And he said "When your driving down a country road, and you come 
across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle. 
You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't 
get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor 
thing down."

5. 



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