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Today's stories [5.14.18]

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A sign at a Budapest zoo:

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.

IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

1. 




Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch  in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While  enjoying
my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my 
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had
not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to  go, and
he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny,  are you SURE
you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must
have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.  Soooooo, I
asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped
up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE
MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their
tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple
made me feel better by thanking me for the  best laugh they'd ever had!

2. 




A sign in a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

3. 



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