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Today's quotes [5.1.18]

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"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that. It's called
EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

                                     - Drew Carey

1. 




"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to
find a woman I don't like and just give her a house,"
       
                                - Lewis Grizzard

2. 




"The problem with the designated driver program,
it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get
sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the
end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."

                             - Jeff Foxworthy

3. 




"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?"

                                          - Marilyn Pittman

4. 




"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it 
like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should 
give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they 
leave you, they should have to find you a temp."

                                            - Bob Ettinger

5. 



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