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Today's jokes [5.5.18]

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Two kindergarten girls were talking outside: one said,
"You won't believe what I saw on the patio yesterday--a condom!"
The second girl asked, "What's a patio?" 

1. 




Did I tell you I had this woman pounding on my door all night last night?

Yeah, I finally let her out!

2. 




What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Blowing bubbles. 


3. 




The Australian liberal party announced today that they are
changing their emblem to a condom
because it more clearly reflects their party's
political stance :

A condom stands up to inflation,
halts production,
discourages co-operation,
protects a bunch of dicks,
and gives one a sense of security while
screwing others.

4. 




The limousine was taking the beautiful raven-haired model to the airport.
Halfway there, the front tire went flat.  The model said, "Driver, I don't 
have time to wait for road service.  Can you change it yourself?"  
The driver said, "Sure."  He got out of the car and proceeded to change 
the tire, but couldn't get the wheel cover off.  The model saw him 
struggling and asked, "Do you want a screwdriver?"  
He said "Sure! But, first I have to change this tire."

5. 



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