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Today's jokes [5.12.18]

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God created woman, and she had 3 breasts.

He said to the woman, "Is there anything on you that you'd like to
change?"

She said, "Yes.  Could you get rid of this middle breast?"

God snapped his fingers and it was done.

She exclaimed, holding the third breast in her hand,
"What am I going to do with this useless boob?"

And God created man.

1. 




Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

2. 




   Want some chicken?

   A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running
   along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with
   him because he was doing 50 MPH.
   He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He
   speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken passed him up. The man noticed
   the
   chicken had three legs.
   So, he followed to chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got
   out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs. He asked
   the farmer "What's up with these chickens?"
   The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs. I bred a three
   legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire." The man asked him how
   they tasted.
   The farmer said "Don't know, haven't caught one yet."
   


3. 




What do the Pope and the Giants have in common?

Both cram 30,000 fans in a stadium and end up saying JESUS CHRIST!!

4. 




Did you hear about the hooker that had her
appendix taken out?

Now she does business on the side!

5. 



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