Today's stories [4.10.18]

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It is well documented that for every mile that you
jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you
at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a
nursing home at $5000 per month.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one 
exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in 
places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

Seen in a Maine restaurant: 

     "Open 7 days a week and weekends." 

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