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Today's quotes [4.15.18]

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My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it.  So I'm going to move to New
York.


1. 




"If you tape a piece of buttered bread to 
the back of a cat butter side up and drop 
the cat, which will hit the ground, the 
cats fet or the buttered side of the 
bread?...Neither the assembly will reach 
a elevation of one foot from the ground 
and start to spin uncontrollably, 
perpetual motion."


2. 




"Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards
of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork
involved when your house lands on a witch." 

     - Dave James 

3. 




Britain is the only country in the world where the
food is more dangerous than the sex.

                                       - - - Jackie Mason

4. 




Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for
a satellite picture.


5. 



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