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Today's jokes [2.11.18]

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What is George W. Bush's favorite town in Texas?

Kilgore,TX

1. 




A man was being interviewed for a job. 

"Were you in the service?" ask the interviewer. 

"Yes, I was a marine," responded the applicant. 

"Did you see any active duty?" 

"I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability." 

"May I ask what happened?" 

"Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both 
testicles." 

"You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am." 

"When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential 
treatment because of my disability." 

"Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with 
you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit 
around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first."

2. 




Q: How do you make a cat bark?
A: Soak the cat in gasoline and through a lighted match at him.
   WOOOFFFF


3. 




If Sony made toasters...
Their Sony Toastman, which would be barely larger than
the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be
conveniently attached to your belt.

4. 




If women don't fool around, and men do fool around, who
are the men fooling around with?

5. 



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