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Today's jokes [12.6.18]

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Friend: Vern, are you going to take your wife Alice on your next cruise?
Vern: Yes, indeed. I just can't leave her behind alone. 

1. 




Two fags were walking down the street and passed a handsome guy.  One
fag turned to the other and said, "See that stud there, Bruce?"
        "Sure."
        "Well, let me tell you, he's a tremendous fuck!"
        "No shit?" Bruce asked.
        "Well, hardly any."

2. 




A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for
something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting
under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing
away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the
man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of
the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp. 

3. 




Two cows were talking in the field one day.

First Cow: Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?
Second Cow: Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it? 

4. 




What do you call a line of blondes standing ear to ear?

                                         A wind tunnel.

5. 



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