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Today's poems [11.1.18]

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                    There was a young girl of Penzance
                            
                    Who boarded a bus in a trance.
                            The passengers fucked her,
                            Likewise the conductor.
                            
                    The driver shot off in his pants.
                            
                                              


1. 




                    "My body, by my own admission,"
                            
                    I told him, "is in top condition."
                            I said with a snigger,
                            "I worship my figure."
                            
                    Then he tried to embrace my religion.
                                              


2. 




There was a girl from the five and ten
Who diddled herself with a fountain pen.
The top came off,
The ink went wild,
And now she's the mother of a coloured child.

3. 




Said a pretty young lady from Croft,
Whilst amusing herself in the loft,
"Salami or wurst
Is what I choose first,
But with baloney I know I've been boffed" 

4. 




For sculpture that's really first class 
               You need form, composition, and mass. 
                    To do a good Venus 
                    Just leave off the penis, 
               And concentrate all on the ass. 

5. 



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