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Today's poems [10.1.18]

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Mary Mary
quite contrary
bought a dildo 
lost your cherry
bought another,
freaked your mother,
now you have sex alone.

Sent by Kendall

1. 




Once a pirate named Yates 
            Danced the jig for all of his mates. 
                He slipped in his cutlas, 
                And made himself nutless, 
            And now he's quite useless on dates. 

2. 




There was a bluestocking in Florence 
Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, 
Till a Spanish grandee 
Got her off with his knee, 
And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

3. 




The Camel

The sexual needs of a camel
are greater than anyone thinks.
For once in a moment of passion
it attempted to ravish the Sphinx.

The Sphinx's posterior entrance
was clogged by the sands of the Nile,
which accounts for the hump on the camel
and the Sphinx's inscrutable smile :)

Sent by FLG

4. 




Brian is an idiot!
 And everybody knows
 When he goes to bed at night
 He puts polish on his toes

 Brian is so stupid
 He sucks himself all day
 And when I went to a farm once
 And saw him eating hay

 Brian is a numbskull
 He loves a girl named Jade
 And he wanted her to kiss him so much
 Once he even paid



5. 



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