Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [10.12.18]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


Q. What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common?

A. They both have balls just for decoration.

1. 




Why is sex like money in the bank?

Because when you withdraw, you lose interest.


Sent by Annette

2. 




   What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg ?
   1) You only get laid once.
   2) You only get eaten once.
   3) It takes you seven min. to get hard in boiling water.
   4) You have to come in a box with 11 other guys.
   5) The only one that ever sits on your face is your mother.
   


3. 




   The newly divorced woman had never had to be the handyman around the
   house before, and quickly discovered she was lacking most of the
   proper tools to do the odd jobs needed. She made a trip to the local
   hardware store and quickly learned that it was truly a "man's world"
   there.
   
   Thinking that she might be taken advantage of if she let on that she
   was indeed a novice, she made a determined effort to look and sound as
   if she knew what she was doing. Completing her first group of
   purchases she took them to the clerk at the counter and looking behind
   him she discovered she hadn't bought any files. She pointed to one and
   said "May I have one of those ?"
   
   The clerk, unsure of what she was indicating said, "What... one of
   those bastards ?"
   
   Without a pause, she said, "Yeah ! And ya better give me a few of
   those Son-of-a-Bitches next to 'em too."


4. 




A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier after
having eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills most
exclusive restaurants.
"Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.

So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an
absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the
furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that
particular fur goes for $65,000."

"No problem! I'll write you a check!"

"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may
come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared the bank."

So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns.
The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?!
There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"

"I just had to come by," grinned the guy,

"to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 October '18 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
   1  2  3  4  5  6  
7  8  9  10 11 12 13 
14 15 16 17 18 19 20 
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 
28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.