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Today's stories [1.4.18]

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A group of terrorists burst into the conference room at the 
Ramada Hotel, where the American Bar Association was 
holding its Annual Conventions. More than a hundred lawyers 
were taken as hostages. The terrorist leader announced that 
unless their demands were met, they would release one 
lawyer every hour. 

1. 




There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Tim Alley's 
Grocery Store. The owner Tim doesn't know what Junior's 
problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two 
bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel. To prove it, 
sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a 
dime. 

He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.
One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one 
side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They 
think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. 
Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"

2. 




A business man called and had a question about the 
documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy 
discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. 
"Oh, no, I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to 
have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his 
stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've 
been to China 4 times and everytime they have accepted my 
American Express."

3. 



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