Today's poems [1.11.18]
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There once was a lady, Ilene,
Who liver on distilled kerosene,
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon
and since then she'd never benzene
Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
Winter is here with his grouch,
The time when you sneeze and slouch.
You can't take your women
Canoein' or swimmin',
But a lot can be done on a couch.
A Dutchman who dwelt in Dundee
Walked into a grocer's named Lee.
He said "If you blease,
Haff you any prick cheese?"
Said the grocer, "I'll skin back and see."
There was a young lady of Bhore
Who was courted by gallants galore.
Their ardent protestin'
She found interestin',
And ended her life as a virgin.
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