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Today's stories [9.4.17]

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   Women ! Who can figure 'em out ? Now that the kids are grown and gone,
   my wife sez she needs more "outside interests". I thought I'd surprise
   her and presented her with a brand new fancy lawn mower, just the
   other day.
   
   Now, she's mad with me.


1. 




Four elderly ladies were driving in a car. One of the 
ladies in the car, Rosa, had a heavy hispanic accent.  "As we 
drove thru the industrial area, Rosa said, 'Hey, that's where 
they make the Huge Measles!'  We all looked at each other, 
confused, for a moment before we realized we were going past 
the 'Hughes Missle' plant."

2. 




Jenn says her husband worked with this guy at the high school.
The guy wanted to measure the wall and he asked Mike (my
husband) for some assistance.  Mike said, "why not use the 
yardstick over there?"  The guy looked at Mike and, very serious,
said, "I can't use that.  The wall is longer than the yardstick."

3. 



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