Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [9.11.17]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre 
spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across 
another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor 
and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I have to 
warn you though, there will be alot of drinking at this party. The city 
slicker said no problem. There will also be sex going on. No problem he 
responded. Well, There will probably be some fighting too. I think I can 
handle myself, claimed the new neighbor. As he rode off, he turned and 
asked the party host. "By the way, what should I wear  at the party" The 
man, responded "Oh, it don't matter, It's only going to be me and you!"

Sent by Chris

1. 




A guy was attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, and 
dancing with a girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a 
costume. 

Suddenly she slapped him hard and stalked off the dance floor.
"What the hell happened?" asked a friend who had witnessed 
the entire event.

"I'm not really sure." the man replied, rubbing his red cheek. 
"When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on 
Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it."



2. 




An elderly man tells the Doctor he is planning on marrying a women of 30, 
and would he have any suggestions.
"Yes," says the Doctor, "I would advise you to take in a boarder."
A year later at his 80th year check-up, the Doctor asks how everything is 
going. He says fine his wife is pregnant.
The Doctor remarks: "so you took my advise and took in a boarder?"
"Yes I did, is the reply, and she's pregnant also....."

3. 




Did you hear that in New York State, the Stop And Shop grocery chain 
merged with the A & P?
Yup..now they call it the...Stop & P. 

4. 




Age           EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES

        17         Need to wash my hair
        25         Need to wash and condition my hair
        35         Need to color my hair
        48         Need to have Francois color my hair
        66         Need to have Francois color my wig

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 September '17 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
               1  2  
3  4  5  6  7  8  9  
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 
24 25 26 27 28 29 30 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.