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Today's jokes [7.15.17]

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As the end of the day drew near, the handsome executive 
called his newly hired assistant into his office. "Do you know 
what time we quit around here ?" he asked.

"Sure !" the girl nervously giggled. "Whenever somebody 
knocks on the door."



1. 




When is it OK for a lady to slap a midget? 

When they are slow dancing and he tells her how nice her hair smells. 

2. 




Little Johnny was sitting on the bench in the park.
Suzie comes along chomping on her bubblegum. 
Suzie asked, "You wanna play doctor?" 
Johnny replied, "NO, that too old fashioned.
Spit out you gum, I wanna play president."

3. 




Kid: Teacher can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: You have to say your ABC's first
Kid: Ok,
a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u, v,w.x.y, and z
Teacher: Where's the p?
Kid: It's running down my leg!!

Sent by Jenna

4. 




What happens when you sing country and western music backwards?

You get your wife and your job back.


5. 



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