Today's jokes [6.9.17]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Why did the Avon lady walk funny?
A certain young lady named Rowell
Had a musical bent to her bowel.
With a good plate of beans
Tucked under her jeans
She could play To a Wild Rose by MacDowell.
Sidney has a problem with premature ejaculation, so he pays a visit to a
sex shop for a remedy. The clerk hands him a little purple can and
says, "This is Stay-Hard spray... put on a little and you can go all
Excited, Sidney takes it home, stashes it in the cellar on a shelf, and
waits eagerly for bedtime. Later that night, he sprays some on his member
and then goes upstairs to his wife. To his utter disappointment, however,
the remedy seems to make him orgasm quicker than ever.
The next day, Sidney returns to the sex shop, angrily slammed the can down
on the counter, and snaps, "This stuff makes me worse than before!"
Upon reading the label, the clerk asks, "I don't suppose your hid this
stuff on your basement shelf, did you?"
"You must have grabbed the wrong can, sir... this is Easy-Off."
"...And the halftime score here at the Colleusium is Lions 7,
Christians Nothing. We'll be right back after these messages..."
A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an
overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing
their home lives.
"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman
bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and
she told me how much she adored me."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian
responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and
told me she could never love another man."
When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,
"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once," he replied.
"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say
to you this morning?"
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30