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Today's jokes [6.19.17]

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What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching like hell to get out of that box. 

1. 




A blonde and a brunette were talking one day.  The brunette said
that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head
and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.  The blonde asked inquisitively,
"How do you give shoulders?"


2. 




Boy: Those clothes are very becoming on you!
Girl: Why thank you!
Boy: Of course, if I was on you...I would becoming too!

3. 




Q: Did you hear about the call girl who accidentally made two appointments 
at the same time?

A: She managed to squeeze them both in.

4. 




Did you hear about the tramp who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady,
 - I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself" she replied. 

5. 



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