Today's jokes [6.15.17]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a
magic lamp with a genie inside of it. The genie
said, 'I will grant you three wishes.' The man's
first wish was to get out of the pit. **POOF**
He was instantly transported out. He then wished
for all the gold in the world. **POOF**
The genie gave him all the gold nuggets in the
world, all the gold bars, all the gold pebbles,
etc. The man could not think of anything for his
third wish, so he went out for a ride in his
Ferrari. He turned on the radio, and after a few
minutes, his favorite song came on. He decided to
'Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner...'
Q: What is the difference between a single 40-year-old
woman and a single 40-year-old man? A: The 40-year-old woman thinks
often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.
It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president
had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back
of his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way.
"And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife,
when the wayward husband finally arrived home.
"Down at the office," he replied, "working like a dog."
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the
house. He got the outside.
A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely
three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.
After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's
"I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,"
said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all."
"Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs
apart and close your eyes," said the midget.
The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest
thing she'd ever experienced inside her.
Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times.
"If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "Just
wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30