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Today's stories [4.16.17]

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A true story.  A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam
for his graduate students.  It had one question:

"Is hell exothermic or endothermic?  Support your answer with a
proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
or some variant.  One student, however wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some
mass.

If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.  So, at what
rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving?  I
think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it
will not leave.  Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that
exist in the world today.  Some of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell.  Since, there
are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to
hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay
the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay
constant.

So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase
until all hell breaks loose.

Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell
freezes over.

It was not revealed what grade the student got.

Tad Cook
tad@ssc.com



1. 




[AP, Mammoth Lakes, CA] A San Anselmo man
   died yesterday when he hit a lift tower at the
   Mammoth mountain ski area while riding down the
   slope on a foam pad, authorities said. Matthew
   David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead at Centinela
   Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3
   a.m. The Mono County Sheriff's Department said
   Hubal and his friends had apparently hiked up a
   ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow
   foam protectors from the lift towers. Lieutenant
   Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police
   Department said the pads are used to protect
   skiers who might hit the towers. The group
   apparently used the pads to slide down the ski
   slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has
   since been investigated that the tower he hit was
   the one with its pad removed.


2. 




[Associated Press,Kincaid, W. VA] A man at a
   party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit
   down, triggering an explosion that blew off his
   lips, teeth and tongue, state police said
   Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the
   blasting cap as a prank during a party late
   Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man
   had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and
   was trying to explode it," Payne said. "It
   wouldn't go off and this guy said, "I'll show you
   how to set it off." "He put it in his mouth and
   bit down. It blew all his teeth off, his tongue
   and his lips," Payne said. Stromyer was listed in
   guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial
   injuries, according to a spokesman at Charleston
   Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
   anyone doing something like that," Payne said.


3. 



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