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Today's poems [4.9.17]

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                    There was a young man of Loch Leven
                            
                    Who went for a walk about seven.
                            He fell into a pit
                            That was brimful of shit,
                            
                    And now the poor bugger's in heaven.
                            


1. 




                    Peter, first Duke of Orange
                            
                    Was limited to a miserable four-inch,
                            But technique in a keyhole
                            Developed his P-hole
                            
                    "Til at last it got caught in the door-hinge.
                            


2. 




                    There was a young girl of Penzance
                            
                    Who boarded a bus in a trance.
                            The passengers fucked her,
                            Likewise the conductor.
                            
                    The driver shot off in his pants.
                            
                                              


3. 




                    "My body, by my own admission,"
                            
                    I told him, "is in top condition."
                            I said with a snigger,
                            "I worship my figure."
                            
                    Then he tried to embrace my religion.
                                              


4. 




There was a girl from the five and ten
Who diddled herself with a fountain pen.
The top came off,
The ink went wild,
And now she's the mother of a coloured child.

5. 



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