Today's poems [4.21.17]
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There was a young fellow from Lees
Who handled his tool with great ease.
This continual friction
Made his sex a mere fiction,
But the callus hangs down to his knees.
There was a young peasant named Gorse
Who fell madly in love with his horse.
Said his wife, "You rapscallion,
That horse is a stallion---
This constitutes grounds for divorce."
Said an old taxidermist in Burrell,
As he skillfully mounted a squirrel,
"This excess of tail is
Obstructive to phallus;
One's much better off with a girl."
A widow whose singular vice
Was to keep her late husband on ice
Said, "It's been hard since I lost him---
I'll never defrost him!
Cold comfort, but cheap at the price,"
A lonely young lad of Eton
Used always to sleep with the heat on,
Till he ran into a lass
Who showed him her ass---
Now they sleep with only a sheet on.
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