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Today's poems [4.21.17]

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There was a young fellow from Lees 
            Who handled his tool with great ease. 
                This continual friction 
                Made his sex a mere fiction, 
            But the callus hangs down to his knees. 

1. 




There was a young peasant named Gorse 
               Who fell madly in love with his horse. 
                    Said his wife, "You rapscallion, 
                    That horse is a stallion--- 
               This constitutes grounds for divorce." 

2. 




Said an old taxidermist in Burrell, 
               As he skillfully mounted a squirrel, 
                    "This excess of tail is 
                    Obstructive to phallus; 
               One's much better off with a girl." 

3. 




A widow whose singular vice 
               Was to keep her late husband on ice 
                    Said, "It's been hard since I lost him--- 
                    I'll never defrost him! 
               Cold comfort, but cheap at the price," 

4. 




                    A lonely young lad of Eton
                            
                    Used always to sleep with the heat on,
                            Till he ran into a lass
                            Who showed him her ass---
                            
                    Now they sleep with only a sheet on.
                            


5. 



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