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Today's jokes [4.7.17]

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A manager of a restaurant had called its owner to ask
about whether or not she should hire a new waitress.
"She can speak twelve different languages, which will
be good for foreign visitors," said the manager.
"All right, so hire her," the owner replied."But, sir..."
"I knew there would be a but. What's wrong with her?"
"Sir, English isn't one of the twelve languages."

Sent by Christina

1. 




How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

2. 




A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love
and going to get married. He says,  "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going
to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm
going to marry."
The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women
into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for
a while.
He then says,"Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle."
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
"I don't like her."

3. 




   We have a young married couple in the neighborhood who are truly
   inseparable. Last week, it took four Howard County Policemen and a
   dog.


4. 




What is Pink and Red and sits in a corner? 

     A baby with a razor blade. 

5. 



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