Today's jokes [4.5.17]
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The Naming of Jesus
A group of biblical scholars were involved in a heated discussion about how Jesus of Nazareth
was named. How did he become known as the Messiah, or Christ. One of the scholars argued that
the name was a Greek corruption of Aramaic, and purists and fundamentalists ought to use the
name Joshua. Another argued that Joshua was Hebrew, not Aramaic, to which a third argued that
Hebrew should be used because Jesus was said to be the King of the Jews. The debate went on
and on and became more and more sophisticated and obtuse. Finally, an old man known for his
wisdom intervened. He informed the group that he knew how Jesus was named. When Jesus was born,
a star shown in the sky, and three wise men from the East travelled to Bethlehem. They had
travelled for days, suffered great deprivation, and when they finally got to Bethlehem got
lost trying to find the manger. Finally, after much ado, and in rather foul moods, they
reached the manger and entered the stall. As one of them came through the door, he tripped on
the door sill, and fell into the wall hitting his head. "Jesus Christ!" he screamed, and
that is how the baby was named.
Mac vs. Etch-a-Sketch:
| ______ |
________ | | | |
| ______ | 'But that isn't a fair | | | |
|| || comparison. People | |______| |
||______|| like the Etch-A-Sketch.' | |
| o o | | _ _ _ _ _|
Roger Earl [^] | |
firstname.lastname@example.org [_] |__________|
After admiring the above signature I thought I'd post a comparison,
similar to the other great computer wars.
Etch-A-Sketch Mac Classic
No. of Colours 2 2
Resolution ~2000*~2000 512 * 342
No. of buttons 2 1
Preemptive Multitasking Yes No
Hardware line draw Yes No
Price < $20 ~ $1000
Power Consumption No Yes
Laptop Yes No
Slow Operating System No Yes
Non Volatile Memory Yes No
Choice of Coloured box Yes No
Robust design (shakeable) Yes No
After considering the above options, I decided to buy the Etch-A-Sketch.
For all you die-hard Amiga fanatics out there rumour has it that the
Etch-A-Sketch-Emulator is coming out for the Amiga, and will in fact
be faster than the true E-A-S.
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next
to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he
notices that she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her
about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual
statistics. It identifies that American Indialns have the longest
average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the
way my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto
Kowalski, nice to meet you."
A strained voice called out through the darkened
theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"
Several men stood up as the lights came on.
An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her,
"Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in
a date with a good, Jewish girl?"
A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to
have a heart transplant. She's worried about the friend so she asks the
doctor: Girlfriend: I'm worried about my friend doc, what if her body
rejects the organ?
Doctor: Well she's 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been in
Girlfriend: She's been working since she was 19 years old but what does
that have to do with anything?
Doctor: Well she's been working 17 years and hasn't rejected an organ yet!
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