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Today's poems [3.1.17]

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A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.  
    
 A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound just like a song. 
    
Some farts do not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger awhile.   
    
 A fart can create
A most-curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, but deadly. 
    
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone
With strange looks on their faces.   
    
From wide-open prairies,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us 
Sooner or later. 
    
So be not afraid
Of the invisible gas,
For always remember,
That farts, too, shall pass.   
 

Sent by Mario

1. 




There once was a man from China
Who wasn't a very good climber 
He slipped of a rock 
And chopped of his cock
And now he's got a vagina.

Sent by Quise

2. 




Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
10,000 volts went up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon.

Mary had a bmx
The seat was back to front
And every time she pulled the brake
The seat went up her cunt


Sent by johny105

3. 




Bob, the zookeeper from Bath,
was known to have trained a giraffe,
to sit on its knees
and stay still with ease
while poked with his very long staff


Sent by Dan

4. 




Danger - Men at work
====================

I go to work
and look with glee,
at Linda's breasts
(the secretary)
alas, each night I go home
I'm feeling hard but I'm alone

I cannot have her
for my love,
she only screws grade C
or above

There is a woman
at the top,
she nevers wear a dress,
she smokes a pipe and has a 'tache
we think she is a les

There is a girl in section 4,
she wears no knickers
and her skirts are short
I think I have a way to fool her
I hope she'll bend to take my ruler

There is a fat girl on my floor,
I think she never had sex before,
Next time that I have a boner
I'll grab her ass 
and then dethrone her

There is a guy in building A,
I'm told, he really is quite gay
As I'm so desperate, I will fake it
I'll close my eyes
and make him take it

Sent by Anon

5. 



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 March '17 Poems Issues:
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12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
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