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Today's jokes [12.2.17]

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How does Herpes leave the hospital?

On crotches.

1. 




What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

2. 




What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?
When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.

3. 




Q: What's stiff and excites women?
A: Elvis Presley.


4. 




Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable 
childhood as an orphan in the ghetto.  When he turned 18 he
joined the Marines, but old habits die hard and one night the
sergeant found him rummaging around the garbage and eating
out of the discarded cans and jars.

"On your free, Lizard Pecker," he bellowed.  "You'll eat in 
the message hall -- you're no better than the rest of us!"

5. 



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