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Today's jokes [8.6.14]

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The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a 
pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following 
sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to 
be delivered at your earliest convenience."

He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word 
mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so 
that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for 
two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new 
word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he 
deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone 
knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he 
typed. "Please send us two of them."

1. 




What's the difference between a computer and a blonde? 

The computer is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on. 

2. 




Did you hear about the new downhill racing skis the ski resorts are
selling this year?

They are called Lewin-skis.  They are for people who like to go down.

3. 




What's another name for pickled bread?

Dill-dough!

4. 




What's the least-used sentence in the English language?

     "Isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?" 

5. 



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