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Today's jokes [8.4.14]

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A straight guy and a gay are in the men's room and the straight guy has 
his shirt unbuttoned exposing a heavy coat of chest hair. The gay asked 
how he came to have so much hair on his chest. He said, "I put Vaseline
on it every night." That night the gay put Vaseline on his chest and went 
to bed. His partner George said, "What in the hell is that?" "It's to grow 
hair." he replied. "Bull shit!" said George. "If Vaseline grew hair...I'd 
have tail a mile long!

1. 




The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was
   empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said, "It's my turn."
   "What do you mean, your turn?" yelled the husband.
   "In bed," she explained, "you've been making early withdrawals for
   years. Now, it's my turn."


2. 




Why is it estimated that only 99 percent of all people masterbate?

The other 1% were either taking the poll or answering the door!

3. 




What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?

The older they get the easier they are to pick up. 

4. 




A game

check this out! It only takes about 30 seconds. Don't cheat!

Think of a letter between A and W. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.








Keep going!










Think of an animal that begins with that letter. Repeat it out loud as you
scroll down.










Think of a man's name that begins with the last letter in that animal.
Say it out loud as you scroll down.










Now count out the letters in that name on the fingers of the hand you are
not using to scroll down.










Take the last finger you counted with, shove it up your ass, and get back
to work, you stupid game playing bastard!

Sent by Zena

5. 



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