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Today's jokes [8.1.14]

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   A coupla Aggies, Buck and Thurleen, married after graduating from
   Texas A&M, are driving from Dallas down to a motel in Austin for their
   honeymoon. Along the way, Buck reaches over and puts his hand on
   Thurleen's knee.
   
   Thurleen smiles, blushes and says, "Oh Buck, we're married now, you
   can go farther than that!"
   
   So he drove on to Laredo.


1. 




What two things in the air will get a women pregnant? 

     Her legs. 

2. 




What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?

A drunk doesn't have to go to those stupid meetings. 

3. 




Do you know why single women can't fart? 

     Because, they don't get assholes untill they get married. 

4. 




Armando went to his neighbor and asked, "Hey Carlos, do you 
like a woman who has a beeg stomach steeking oll the way 
out?" 

"No," says Carlos. 
Armando asks, "Do you like a woman whose teets hang 
almost to her knees?" 

"No," says Carlos. 

"Well, Carlos, would you like a woman whose heeps are so 
mucho grande?" 

"Caramba! No, amigo!" Carlos replied. 

"Theen tell me why," asked Armando, "do you keep screwing 
my wife?"

5. 



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