Today's quotes [7.29.14]

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I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I
don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash
clothes on the last day of their life? 

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." 

Joe E Lewis.

I can't hear you.  I have a banana in my ear. -
   Te audire non possum.  Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
                        -- Jason B. Standing, Esq.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to
       calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the
       doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you
       know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife
       stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After
       that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. 
I think I've forgotten this before. 

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