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Today's quotes [7.21.14]

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"Applaud friends, the comedy is over."
        -Ludwig van Beethoven's last words


And which parallel universe did you crawl out of? 


The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.

-- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being
              hit on the head by a ball in the
              1934 World Series


They'll piss on your foot and tell you its raining! 


"Well, I made up for it big time the next night at another concert. Jill
 Sobule (of "I Kissed a Girl" fame) actually thanked me for being the maniac
 I am, people continue to be frightened of me, and I also triggered a "why-
 can't-you-be-in-shape-like-him" from a woman to her boyfriend. I may not
 have made a spectacle of myself at the Swans concert, but at least I
 destroyed a relationship.:-) ...  Wait a minute. That's not funny. I'm
 evil. *sob*"
                        -- Lt. Wilkes, discussing his form of "dancing"


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