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Today's quotes [7.13.14]

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"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love." 
Woody Allen.

1. 




"What do most people do on a date?"
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies,  and that usually gets
 them interested enough to go for a second date."
                        -- Response by Mike, Age 10


2. 




"Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than
the Chinese telephone directory." 

Joan Rivers.

3. 




He was a man of great statue. 

    - Boston mayor Thomas Menino on former mayor John Collins 

4. 




A great way to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a
mirror. Restaurants will almost always throw you out before
you can eat too much.

5. 



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