Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  

Today's quotes [7.1.14]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

"Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle but the cow has failed on it's first
 attempt at the moon landing!!... that's one small step for a cow, one giant
 leap for the beef industry..."
                        -- Flacco, DAAS Kapital


It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't
want to be there when it happens.

                     -- Woody Allen -- 


"... beyond a shadow of a doubt... who has seen doubt cast a shadow? Bull
 elephant seals cast shadows... beyond the shadow of a bull elephant seal..."
                        -- Flacco, DAAS Kapital


"... the movie looks it was filmed by a rhesus monkey with a video camera. The
 editing looks like it was performed by a rhesus monkey with a Cuisinart.
 Apparently, if you're a rhesus monkey, you can really go places in Hollywood."
                        -- Mr. Cranky


"I was recently on a tour of Latin America,
and the only regret I have was that I didn't
study Latin harder in school so I could
converse with those people." 

    - J. Danforth Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President 


BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 July '14 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
      1  2  3  4  5  
6  7  8  9  10 11 12 
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 
27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.