Today's poems [7.17.14]
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There was a young girl in Berlin
Who was fucked by an elderly Finn.
Though he diddled his best,
And fucked her with zest,
She kept asking, "Hey, Pop, is it in?"
There was a young peasant named Gorse
Who fell madly in love with his horse.
Said his wife, "You rapscallion,
That horse is a stallion---
This constitutes grounds for divorce."
Maggie is such a sad sack of shit
That no one will tickle her tit.
It would make her so glad
To be had by a lad,
Her drawers cream at the mere thought of it.
Said an old taxidermist in Burrell,
As he skillfully mounted a squirrel,
"This excess of tail is
Obstructive to phallus;
One's much better off with a girl."
A widow whose singular vice
Was to keep her late husband on ice
Said, "It's been hard since I lost him---
I'll never defrost him!
Cold comfort, but cheap at the price,"
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