Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [7.31.14]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....
the other is used to carry groceries. 

1. 




Cop coming upon a young couple making out....
Cop: What the hell are you two doing?
Boy: We're necking.
Cop: Well stick your neck back in your pants and get out of here.

2. 




The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances 
on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper 
manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table."
Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and 
climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with a 
hint of a smile." "Yes," replied the girl, "much better." "Very good, 
darling," the husband whispered. "Now would you be so kind as to please 
pass the pussy."

3. 




A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the
letter "R," and all the other kids were, of course,
teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave
him a sentence to practice at home: "Robert gave Richard
a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare."
In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to
recite the sentence out loud. 

The boy nervously eyed his classmates -- many of them
already laughing at him -- then replied, "Bob gave Dick
a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough."

4. 




Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap?

She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 July '14 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
      1  2  3  4  5  
6  7  8  9  10 11 12 
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 
27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.