Today's jokes [7.26.14]
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Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember
Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?
Patient: What problem?
A worldwide survey has been carried out with the following question:
"PLEASE, GIVE US YOUR OPINION ON THE LACK OF FOOD IN THE REST OF THE
No result was achieved, since the following problems were faced
during the survey's implementation:
1. In Western Europe no one knew what is "lack"
2. In Africa no one knew what is "food"
3. In Eastern Europe no one knew what is "opinion"
4. In South America no one knew what is "please"
5. In the USA no one knew what is "rest of the world"
How are men like UFOs?
You don't know where they come from, what their mission is,
or what time they're going to take off.
Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.
The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad
news and good
news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and
will need help
eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
I went past a plastic surgeon's shop the other day and saw Michael Jackson
picking his nose.
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