Today's jokes [7.2.14]
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What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?
The Captain's log.
The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss.
The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person
The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the
The legs declared, "I shuld be boss since I carry the body and all the
weight is on me."
So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses.
Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.."
He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him. "You, an
asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"
The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up.
The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not
take it anymore. "Ok, ok, you're the boss!" they gave
in. So the asshole became the boss of the body.
The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need
to be an asshole.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.
A young couple are on their way to Vegas to get married. Before
getting there, the girl said to the guy that she has a confession to
make: the reason that they have not been too intimate is because she
is very flat-chested. If he wishes to cancel the wedding, it's okay
with her. The guy thought about it for a while, and said he does not
mind she is flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a
Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that
he also wants to make a confession; he said below his waist, it is
just like a baby. If the girl wants to cancel the marriage, its okay
with him. The girl thought about it for a while and said that she does
not mind, and she also believed there are other things far more
important than sex in a marriage.
They were happy that they are honest with each other. They went on to
Vegas and got married. On their wedding night, the girl took off her
clothes, she was flat as a washboard. Finally, the guy took off his
clothes. One glance at the guy's naked body, the girl fainted and fell
to the floor.
After she became conscious the guy asked: "I told you before we got
married, why did you still faint?"
The girl said: "You told me it was just like a baby".
The guy replied: "Yes, 8 pounds and 21 inches".
Why did clinton follow the chicken across the road? be\
cause, he couldn't get his dick out of its ass.
Sent by BL.STEVENS
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