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Today's jokes [7.18.14]

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The doctor said to the housewife,
"I've got good news and I've got bad news.
The good news is you don't have PMS.
The bad news is - you're a bitch!"

1. 




Two kindergarten girls were talking outside: one said,
"You won't believe what I saw on the patio yesterday--a condom!"
The second girl asked, "What's a patio?" 

2. 




Did I tell you I had this woman pounding on my door all night last night?

Yeah, I finally let her out!

3. 




What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Blowing bubbles. 


4. 




The Australian liberal party announced today that they are
changing their emblem to a condom
because it more clearly reflects their party's
political stance :

A condom stands up to inflation,
halts production,
discourages co-operation,
protects a bunch of dicks,
and gives one a sense of security while
screwing others.

5. 



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