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Today's jokes [6.5.14]

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Chanowski & his other Polak drinking buddy are sitting at a bar . " See 
those guys over there ? " Chanowski says." I'm going over there and ask 
them what they think of Polaks." Chanowki walks up to the two guys sitting 
at the other end of the bar and asks them what they think of Polaks. One 
of the men gives Chanowski the finger. The middle finger. Chanowski then 
walks back to his drinking buddy. " Well , what do they think of Polaks?" 
he asks. "We're still number one , " replies Chanowski.

1. 




   An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything
   for a while the
   Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there's no
   paper in here either.
   


2. 




An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his 
options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have 3 possible 
donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an 
automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman 
who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. 
The 3rd is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 
years. Which do you want?"

"I'll take the lawyer's heart", said the patient.

After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why 
he had chosen the donor he did.  "It was easy", said the 
patient, "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."

3. 




A Britt in South Africa was enjoying a ride in his European car when an
American zoomed by in a Corvette.

The Britt cursed, while the Corvette disappeared in the distance. The
American chap however saw an Afrikaner struggling uphill on his stripped
peddle bike. Just the bare essentials and a large bell, thats all the poor
guy had.

He stopped and offered the Afrikaner a lift. "No thank you sir here in
South Africa we don't sit in a car with white folks."

"In that case let me towe you up hill."

They agreed and the Corvette slowly pulled the Afrikaner up hill. Just then
the Britt passed him in his white European car B Leland, no less, and stuck
his middle finger in the air and waved menacingly. The American got mad,
forgot he was towing the Afrikaner, and took off like a lightning bolt.

Going down hill they spotted a Police Car and slowed down some. The Trooper
yanked his mike from the holder and shouted. "Look out for a white British
B Leland followed by a Corvette and an Afrikaner behind ringing the bell
trying to pass both. Lock him up."

4. 




When the staff goes out after work, they talk about football or basketball.
When Middle management gets together, they talk about tennis or baseball.
Top management discusses golf.
Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are.


5. 



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