Today's jokes [6.25.14]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is
both male and female."
This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses him so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless,
"Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this Little Johnny’s face lights up with understanding and he
triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"
What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?
Nothing, there's some things even a pig won't do!
"Mr. Chilton," the analyst said, "I think this will be your last
"Does that mean I'm cured?" he asked.
"For all practical purposes, yes," she said. "I think we can
safely say that your kleptomania is now under control. You
haven't stolen anything in two years, and you seem to know
where the kleptomania came from."
"Well, that's terrific, Doctor. Before I go, I'd like to tell you
something. Although our relationship is strictly professional, it's
been one of the most rewarding of my life. I wish I could do
something to repay you for helping me."
"You've paid my fee," the doctor said. "That's the only
responsibility you have."
"I know," Chilton said. "But isn't there some personal favor I
could do for you?"
"Well," the doctor said, "I'll tell you what. If you ever suffer a
relapse, my son could use a nice portable color television."
How do you know when a redneck isn't wearing any underwear?
There's dandruff on his/her shoes.
The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavian
air defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfall
while the jet was on a bombing run. The plane crashed into
an empty field, creating a huge crater. Serbian search and
rescue workers have recovered 307 bodies so far, proving
that NATO is using Albanian men, women and children terrorists
to wage their war of terror from the sky.
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28