Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [6.20.14]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, 
"Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids and he don't wear 
his collar backwards."
The priest says "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children." 
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards." 


1. 




An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest 
in his paintings on display at that time. 

"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good 
news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and 
wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When 
I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad 
news?"

"The guy was your doctor."

2. 




    A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet
   rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over
   immediately.
   When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face
   close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard
   which is full and bushy.
   Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both
   hands.
   "Actually, no" he replies. "Can you get him for me - I need to speak
   to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his
   hair.
   "I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there
   anything I can do?"
   "Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues
   huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him
   to suck them gently.
   "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."


3. 




What is the difference between the government and the Mafia?


                                         One of them is organized.

4. 




Why does a cow wear a bell?
Because his horns are broke!

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 June '14 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  
8  9  10 11 12 13 14 
15 16 17 18 19 20 21 
22 23 24 25 26 27 28 
29 30 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.