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Today's jokes [6.10.14]

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How to Hunt Elephants -- Senior Manager Style

Senior managers set broad elephant hunting policy based on
the assumption that elephants are just like field mice, but
with deeper voices.
 
Sent by Alex

1. 




A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few 
drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed.
They're having a great time. She was on top when suddenly 
she had an epileptic seizure -- she was shaking and foaming at 
the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this was incredible -- 
best sex he'd ever had.
He finished, but she is still shaking and thrashing about with 
her seizure. He began to get nervous and took her to the 
emergency room.
A nurse asked what the problem was and he replied, "I think 
her orgasm's stuck!" 

2. 




I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it
cause it was prettier than most.
The clerk said, "It's made in Germany".
I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then".
The clerk said, "What's the matter? You don't like German pens?"
I said, "No. I just never learned to write German."

3. 




   But let's get real here guys, I mean who exactly are we kidding ? A
   husband controls his wife in much the same manner as a barometer
   controls the weather.


4. 




I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for 
parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie, and he 
said we could discuss it tonight in a "National Town Meeting." 

5. 



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