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Today's quotes [5.8.14]

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The Universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind
- a pretty uncomfortable thought,
particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

     Woody Allen in Getting Even 

1. 




Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.



2. 




Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you
       think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1)
       Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the President.
       (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. -- David
       Letterman


3. 




We sometimes meet an original gentleman,
        who, if manners had not existed, would have
        invented them.
                                        -- Ralph Waldo Emerson



4. 




Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots
of women wear nothing else.



5. 



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