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Today's quotes [5.19.14]

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"10 ways to stop users mistaking you for a normal person (4): When booting a
 workstation, shout out all console output 1/2 a second before it appears.
 Do this with your eyes closed and fists clenched."

-- Steve Mitchell in alt.sysadmin.recovery


1. 




"The winds of political correctness now dictate press-backing of
 Microsoft the new national pasttime.  It will do until Bill Gates
 sleeps with Monica Lewinski (I can see it now... M: 'Uh... it was
 dark; I thought he was Bill Clinton...')."

-- Terry Lambert, comp.unix.bsd.freebsd.misc


2. 




Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.


3. 




It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay
right up there.  Hunters would be all confused.


4. 




Definition of Stress: The confusion created when one's mind
       overrides the body's desire to beat or choke the living shit out
       of some asshole who desperately needs it.


5. 



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