Today's poems [5.5.14]
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There was a young woman of Croft
Who played with herself in a loft.
Having reasoned that candles
Could never cause scandals,
Besides which they did not go soft.
There was a young girl of Tonga
Used to diddle herself with a conga.
When asked how it feels
To be pleasured by eels,
She said, "just like a man, only longer."
Said a pretty young whore from Hong Kong
To a long pronged patron named Wong,
"They say my vagina's
The nicest in China;
Don't ruin it by donging it wrong."
There was a young lady from Kent,
When her husband's pecker it bent,
She said with a sigh,
"Oh, why must it die?
Let's fill it with Portland Cement."
There once was a girl named Louise
Whose cunt hair hung down to her knees.
The crabs in her twat
Tied the hair in a knot
And constructed a flying trapeze.
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