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Today's jokes [5.24.14]

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One day in class the teacher has sex education.On the black board she draws
a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is.In the back of
the room,Dirty Johnny stands and says "That's a penis,and my father has two
of them". The teacher looks surprised and asks "What do you mean,two?"Dirty
Johnny responds,"A little one to pee,and a big one to brush the baby sitters
teeth."

1. 




The young lady admired the watch in the store window every 
time she walked by it. She finally entered the shop one day 
and said, "Just how much is that watch?"

"It's $2000, ma'am."

"Hmmm. Well, would you consider time payments for it?"

"Just what sort of 'time schedule' did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking two times a week for the next two months."

2. 




Q: What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?
A: Having to go to bed so early!

3. 




It's the first day of school and the teacher told her kindergarten class,
"If anyone has to go to the bathroom, you should hold up two fingers."
After a moment of quiet thought, Little Johnny asked: "How will that 
help?" 


4. 




Why does a dog lick his balls?
             Because he can't make a fist. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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