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Today's jokes [5.21.14]

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I'm not so sure evolution is indeed a valid theory. I mean, think
about it --  if it were, wouldn't all blondes have grown handles
by now?


What do you get if you put your hand down an pyschic's pants? 

     Your palm red once a month. 


An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly had
to fart.  She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air
with her deodorizer.
Two floors later a gentleman got onto the elevator.
He began to sniff.
The Avon lady asked, "Do you smell something?"
"Why, yes, I do," he replied.
"What does it smell like?"
"Hmmm, I'm not sure, but it kind of smells like someone shit
in a pine tree."


On a cross-country bus trip, Mrs. Davis became extremely queasy due
to motion sickness.She make her way to the restroom,only to find it
locked.She went back to her seat, laid her head back and tried to
fight off the nausea.  Unsuccessfully, she rolled her head to the right
and threw up on the lap of a man who was dozing and who was therefore
unaware of what had happened.
When the fellow awoke, he was shocked to find himself covered in vomit.
Turning to him, Mrs.Davis said, "There now, are you feeling better?"!


Why did the chicken cross the road?

Let me say this one more time.
I did not have sexual relations with
that chicken. 


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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